Sometimes you do

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.

~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird,

Suit

My business suit, and the memory.
Banging my head.
Banging
Banging...

Until

How I used to love this song. I still do.


In the moonlight and everything shatters
You feel as if you’ve known her all your life
The world’s oldest lesson in history

Best Friends are old ones

Why are your best friends often the ones you made when you were a kid/adolesent? Sometimes I wonder, as adults we give, in the expectation to take back. Most our relationships are based on this solemn fact. Which, as somebody that was facinated by economic moddeling of human tranasctions, I find this quit good. In a sense that it consits perfectly with the 'rationality' assumption of people.

But how come the childhood relationships, that don't have that much of a tarde sense into them, last better than the ones built on the explainable patterns?

who cares

Who cares?
I try not to ; let it be.

Today one of the blogs i used to check regularly shut down. We're coming back to the question of whether its better to write anonymously or reveal your identity.

Some Important Laws Which NEWTON Forgot to State... !!

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have
left will start to move faster than the one you are in
now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you
never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose
will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late
for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning
you will have a flat tire.

LAW OF BATH ROOM: When the body is immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone
you know increases when you are with someone you don't
want

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

LAW OF THEATRE : People with the seats at the furthest
from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.

che ghadr delam gerefte...

The book that is you?

In a literature chatroom, somebody asked me this. A good question. I haven't though about it before.

The Art of Losing

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-- Elizabeth Bishop

Critisizm

Are you afraid of being critisized?
I think I am... How come? Because I immediately start to hate the person who critisizes me, unfairly. So I guess now again, it's the question of who is "fair" and who is not.

No one will know

I decided something right now. I'm not gonna tell ANYbody that i write here, and then i can write anything i want without the fear of having to explain myself to others at some point of time. without feeling obliged to care about the style i write, with no worries of ever being caught. this is my notebook, just mine. onle mine, and it will remain so.

Over

It's over. Over.

How

How would you remind someone of what they used to say, what they used to do, what they used to be?
A sparkle of rememberance.

meant to be

For me it has happened several times. When you want something, and it doesn't happen. Time passed, and now you're happy that it didn't happen at that time. Maybe now is one of those times. Who knows.

ultimatum game

" What has made me write this today was a post in a weblog about the ultimatum game. When a party put an offer on the table, if the second accept, they will both have something if he rejects, both gain zero. Are we in such a game? One can say so. Look at it this way: I'm making an offer and you get to decide. If you accept we both gain, if you reject none of us gain anything, let alone the losses. Looking at it rationally, you should accept any offer that is bigger than zero. But often the second party would reject. Why? One reason is he thinks he is seing the offer unfair, and would rather not be a medium to facilitate any gain to the unjust party, even this would mean an own loss. But,

But..."

Birth Day

Why should your birthday be a diferent day than all the other days that pass? Well of course there is your family and considerate friends that would take advantage of the timing and show you their love. That's not what i mean.

I guess, i can rephrase my question that why would you feel you're getting "old" in your birthday anniversary. Isn't it that each day that comes to an end, is making you "old"er. Perhaps we just accumulate these small repeated feeling olds and just set them free in our birthdy night.

When i was a kid, at the night before my birthdays, i would go to the balcony, look at the stars and say farewell to my past year 'figure' of age. When your a kid, youre enthusiastic about diing one to your digit. Why is it changed when you grow up?
...

[Another good thing about having a lone blog is that you can leave the essay right in the middle and go! ]

There you go.
I got myself a reader. Somebody left me a comment. Hmm, interesting. I didn't expect it...

Epidemy

Many people I know have very recently started blogging. Even my kid brother. What's going on?
Tis also raises the question of how eager are you for others to read your blog. For me, this is actaully a disincentive.

Let me start writting something here.
The idea of writting somewhere that everybody potentially can read, is nice and scary somehow. You don't want to give your 'enemies' inside information!!!
But anyway, i don't think anybody would read these lines, so for now, i'll be safe:)

something funny, i'm now sitting in the library and for the first tome in history i dont feel chilly! Now you can imagine how hot midwest can get in summers ,that even i sense it.

I promised myself to get some work done today. let's see how sucessful i'll be in keeping it. i'm usually not that much:)